Author: grasshopper

The Year is Now

The Year is Now is finally a reality! Click the image or the link beneath it to be taken to my Lulu storefront.

http://www.lulu.com/shop/ml-crabb/the-year-is-now/paperback/product-21711767.html
 Available at Lulu: The Year is Now
It will be available on Amazon within the next few weeks!

The Year is Now started out in 2010 as a bunch of cranky journal entries by Major Pierson (who was simply named “The General” back then).  I remember when the idea hit me; I was sitting on the steps at my former job, ignoring the Georgia heat as I stared at my empty notebook. Major Pierson came into being with a sudden snap. His first lines were “Those damned Venetians!” The bulk of the entries never made it to the final draft, but I remember having a lot of fun writing them.

After all this time, I am thrilled to be able to present The Year is Now as a full fledged paperback novel! I want to thank everyone who has supported me, offered me encouragement, or just listened.

Proof Copy Giveaway!
I just want to say that I had too much fun reading the captions. I liked them so much, that I’m going to have to do something like this again in the future.
Winner  #1:
E.R.’s  “We have bypassed the Intergalactic Realm and are fast approaching a rare pocket of curved space/time dimensions. Ouch!”

Winner #2:
D.F.’s  “I do not pity the poor humans stuck toiling in their 9 to 5 ruts after a weekend of binge drinking”…

+ You two will receive an email shortly!
+ Winners of the Cover Launch Contest: your prizes will be mailed out tomorrow, and I’ll email you once the packages are shipped!

Proof Copy Giveaway

Yes, I have been busier than all the busy bee cliches out there lately, but I have some awesome news about The Year is Now!

The official release date is 24 July, 2014!

What is a release date without some sort of giveaway? I have two worn proof copies laying around. They aren’t perfect, and they are a little used, but they still hold The Year is Now. The story itself wasn’t changed (I was well beyond that process when I ordered my first proof copy), so if you are a lucky winner, you can get your hands on a free copy–proof copy!

How to enter

Caption this:

You can post your caption on Facebook, through email (thecommanddeck [at] outlook [dot] com), or by posting a comment below. You have until the 23rd to enter. Winners will be announced on the release date and also emailed/private messaged separately.

Rules
Keep it clean, please.
You must be 18 to enter.
If you’re a winner, you have 3 days to respond to my message in order to collect your prize.

I will send the winners a “Shipped” notification (I have to schedule shipping around my days off).
WINNERS OF THE COVER LAUNCH PARTY, your prizes will be mailed out on the 25th!

What is a space guinea pig king without a super epic t-shirt? Rescue him, guys and gals! He needs our help!

Hunting Pockets

I think just about every female has suffered the plight of pockets. I don’t like carrying anything more than I have to, and finding a decent pair of pants with five functioning pockets is like trying to fish a quarter from behind the fridge.

Center pocket taken/modified from a public domain image found here.

Sit down, grab your favorite drink, and enjoy my review of the most common pocket failures in women’s clothing! 

The Gotcha!
While these tricksters appear to be legitimate pockets, they are only a few centimeters deep. Rocking your cell phone in one of these is a recipe for a shattered screen and an empty wallet. You can maybe stuff a dime or two in them. Maybe.

Nope.
It looks like a real pocket. It looks like it’s deep and useful. Just look at the lovely thick threading on it! NOPE. It’s just a decorative slice of denim sewn onto the jeans.

The Slim Jane
Like the Nope, the Slim Jane looks like a working pocket. However, sliding anything other than a coin into this monstrosity is next to impossible. When you do manage to slip something useful (like your keys) inside, it is the battle of the bulge.

Oops, I spilled it again
These tiny seam pockets are about as useful as a cup of water with holes in it. Stuff your change and keys inside, and the second you take a step…Oops.

No Pocket
Lastly, we have a pair of jeans with no pockets whatsoever. The designers were too lazy to sew Nopes and Gotchas, and for that I thank them. I can instantly spot a pair of jeans with no pockets and move on.

MewMew’s Pix – Netflix Gems

When he is not batting balls of yarn into space or chasing the stars with catnip, Captain MewMew is an avid list maker.

Netflix Gems

In no particular order…(this list was written by a cat, after all), here are five hidden gems to stream on Netflix:

1. The Road (2009) [ R ]
~Not to be confused with the 2011 horror movie of the same name.
The Road paints a grim, post apocalyptic future for mankind as it follows the story of a father trying to protect and teach his son that goodness still exists. It is an adventure tale of sorts when the father decides to head for the shore. Throughout their journey, the duo must escape cannibals, deadly bandits, and (above all else) survive.

Pros: It is a unique story. It shows the love a father has for his son, which makes for an excellent tale in itself.

Cons: It is a depressing story at times.

2. The Awakening (2011) [R]
A renowned hoax detective is hired to disprove the existence of a meddlesome ghost at a boarding school. As you might guess, this is a horror film, and you know how that goes. This one is a jem because it has an interesting twist on the entire skeptic-turns-ghost-hunter plot. MewMew doesn’t want to drop any spoilers, but you will be entertained and pleasantly surprised if you decide to give The Awakening a shot.

Pros: It is full of plot twists, and the “horrors” are done through subtle tricks of the camera. I find subtlety to be much more frightening than shock and awe.

Cons: The stupid romance between the detective and the man she falls for. Yes. I typed “stupid.”

3. Europa Report (2013) [PG-13]
Six astronauts are sent to investigate one of Jupiter’s moons. The movie is done from the perspective of the security cameras and through the astronauts’ personal cameras. This in no way detracts from the plot or one’s ability to enjoy the movie–MewMew admits that it does take a few minutes to get used to. It is sort of like following an addictive, homemade series on YouTube (sans the awful shaky cameras, bad acting, and horrible special effects).

Pros: It has a great story. It is one of those movies that makes you want to join NASA. Last, but not least, there are thrills, chills, and kills.

Cons: Not everyone will enjoy the filming style.

4. Iron Sky (2013) [R]
A super secret Nazi base has been operating on the moon since WWII. The citizens on the base have been living their lives out unawares of modern Earth until a space shuttle accidentally discovers them…Add raunchy jokes, cliche Sci-Fi shenanigans, crazy costumes, and you have yourself one hilarious spoof movie.

Pros: This is a spoof movie that was made for Sci-Fi fans. While it has raunchiness in it, it is not overdone or to the point where you want to just roll your eyes and shut it off.

Cons: If you are not into spoof movies, steer clear!

5. Attack on Titan [not rated]
AoT is a Japanese anime that follows the story of three friends after their world is torn apart by circumstances beyond anyone’s wildest nightmares. The towering walls protecting human kind’s last ditch effort for survival had stood tall for 100 years, but all of that changed when a colossal titan breached the outer wall.

Pros: It is fast paced and has an excellent animation style. If you like The Walking Dead, I highly recommend this anime. None of the females are pigeonholed into sappy love stories or romances that have nothing to do with the plot.

Cons: Netflix only has the first season, and MewMew has a gut feeling that this may become one of those animes that is dragged out over several hundred episodes. Hopefully it won’t come to that…

Warnings: It is subtitled, so if that’s not your thing, you will not have a good time. There is excessive violence and gore at times.

Adventures With Blog Prompts

So I was scouring the Internet for ideas–Let’s face it: ye olde muse needs a jump start every once in a while–and I decided to have some fun with the most common ones I stumbled across.

This is all in good fun (I am all for reusing old items and making lists)! Enjoy.

#1. Weekend Roundup
Judging by the pretty Pinterest fonts surrounding this one every time I saw it, I am certain that I am the wrong audience for it. 😉

#2. Upcycle Something!
My DIY cell phone bracelet rocks my socks off!


#3. Instagram the inside of your purse! Tell everyone about the contents of your purse!

I kid you not…if I had a dollar for every time I saw this as a prompt, I could buy myself that Slayers DvD set I’ve been eying on Amazon.

 Furby is coming. Furby is hungry. Furby is-GET.THE.SALT. 

#4. What are you reading?
This one is commonly translated as: Post an artsy fartsy picture of your antique cup of tea beside your most obscure book. It will make you look smart. Add a quill or some glasses for measure. If you have an old typewriter, get that in the photo too. You will look super sophisticated.

The book in this picture is awesome, by the way.

#5. Make a list 
#6.  Rant about something you are passionate about
Always blame the aliens. Always.