Author: grasshopper

Stars or Stripes – For Your Wednesday

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Hump Day? Kitten, please. You’re too fabulous for that! Happy ‪#‎MeowDay‬! 
I’ve got a gift for you.

Stars and Stripes is here!
Did I mention that it is FREE?

Apple iBookstore: Coming soon!
Barnes & Noble NOOK: Coming soon! 

‘No one prepared us for actual violence…like legit ‘I want to destroy the world’ stuff.’

Whatever happened to routine drug busts and petty criminals? Headquarters throw Agent Jadelynn Jackson in for a wild ride when they dump the empire’s most frustrating foe in her lap. The Federal Freemen are growing bolder and more violent with each passing day. It’s only a matter of time before the public finds out, and what will happen then? The empire can only control so much…

To top things off, a mysterious (and very illegal) telepath offers his aid. Is it wrong Jadelynn agrees to let him help? Is it wrong that she finds herself attracted to him? Telepaths—dirty twelps—are scum of the earth, awful, and deserve to be put away, but he’s her only chance at stopping the Freemen once and for all!

Twelps, secrets, and choices, oh my! In the end Jadelynn must choose between stars or stripes, her heart or the career she loves.

Goodbye, Hashtag Glitter Nation

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The Command Deck has another special guest today!
Missed the last “guest?” You can catch her post here: Careful With That Selfie!

Aaron Winters from my upcoming story, Stars or Stripes, has something to say about hipsters and memes. He goes by another name, but only close friends are allowed to know it. Boo. I want to know it now!

This pic went viral on the Empire Web underground. 
What does Aaron have to say about it?

A hipster!? Is that what people are calling me these days? I regret hacking one of my chit cards and regret ever creating that underground network in the darkest and most forgotten corner of the Empire Web. The exciting location of my hidden corner is Zoning Regulations: Manufacturing: Textiles: Code by Fabric Type, then find the “Cottons*” folder.

I wanted a place where we could openly discuss things without fear of reprisal by empire authorities…but all people are posting is a bunch of hashtag one liners and cat pictures. With all the bandwidth these silly images and videos take, it will only be a matter of days before RIA watchdogs catch on.

Goodbye, Hashtag Glitter Nation….I’m not even going to share The Great Kittenpurror Sir Meows Clinton meme…All our meows are belong to him.

Oh, and as for me, Cottons*’s creator? I’ve been turned into a meme as you can see in the image above. I posted this picture the other day (if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em…*sigh*). Look  what someone did with it!

There goes the end of the Cottons* folder. I wonder if Emperor Clinton will be amused or displeased to find that he has become a kitten adored by the purrletariat. I smell a few arrests in the future, which is why I’m #GettingTheHellOut.

See, I’m with the times. Just because I appreciate the forgotten things in life, it doesn’t make me some wannabe, hipster snob! I just now realized that me ranting like this isn’t helping my image…

So yep, getting out, deleting Cottons* and all the posts, images, videos, and user data within, and throwing away this hacked chit (I can always hack another).

~Aaron signing off.

P.S. It’s not considered rage quitting if you’re sparing a handful of people from being taken into RIA custody and arrested.

Stars or Stripes is coming soon to a Command Deck near you!
 Did we mention that it’s going to be free?
FREE! 

Careful With That Selfie!

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The Command Deck has a special guest today!

Agent Jadelynn Jackson from the RIA (who is also the star of my upcoming story, Stars or Stripes) has a special message for you all.

Dear Self,
I must not take selfies with my empire-issue chit card. I must not take selfies with my empire-issue chit card….and et cetera.

In my defense, it’s not everyday you get to go into a classified area with relics from the past. By past, I don’t mean ten years ago. Nope. This was some Grade A, pre-Great War stuff.

I mean who could blame me? You have to have a Level 5 clearance just to get near the thing! The selfie would have been just an innocent file named something boring stored in my chit for a few hours until I got home to transfer it.

But nope. I had to mess up big time. My boss laughed the entire time he was reprimanding me. *sigh* So how did an innocent selfie blow up in  my face?

It’s easy.

An agent sent out a mass message, warning everyone about a potential twelp situation several miles away. That same agent sent me a private message because I was closest to the “fun.” Well…My thumb slipped, and when I was trying to swipe my selfie away, I hit “Reply All,” and my lovely mug was sent to the entire 10th Eastern Command.

Charming, I know.

I wonder how many times it got forwarded before Headquarters purged everyone’s chits…Ah, my smiling face and that devious little act of mine…Well, here’s to you, Level 4 security clearances and below. You got to see a rare artifact; you only had to put up with my face.

The lesson here is simple: don’t abuse your chit card privileges, and don’t hit the “Reply All” button. But really…why do they still keep it RIGHT next to the regular “Reply” button? Not that I was going to send my selfie to the agent in question or anything, but still! Why?

~Jadelynn

Stars or Stripes is coming soon to a Command Deck near you!
 Did we mention that it’s going to be free?
FREE! 

Hashtag Flipping Tables No

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I rarely post about things that make me angry, but I can’t help myself this time.

I’ll just start this off by stating that I’ll never understand the AirBnB thing. For those who don’t know, renting your house out while you’re on vacation (or otherwise away from home for a short period of time) has become a fast growing trend in recent years.

Personally, I don’t understand the appeal. I mean your home, apartment, cabin…[insert your abode of choice here] is your quiet place, your own personal private sanctum you escape to after a long day at work. It is the place you keep your memories, treasures, and  yes, even bland household things like dishes count.

I couldn’t fathom allowing a complete stranger in while I’m away. The thought of someone I don’t know handling my things makes my blood boil. Yes, I am a stubborn woman dead set in my ways, and if this seems cold, well….it is. I’m not even going to try and sugar coat it!

So what set me off? A video posted on YouTube. Someone came back to their house after renting it out to strangers, and it basically shows my worst nightmare.

WARNING: the video contains a lot of disgusting things including vomit, fecal matter, and urine. It will also make you go from zero to   ‎ ╯‵Д′)╯彡┻━┻  in .5 seconds (our emoji friend is flipping tables angry).

The Year is Now – Ebook Edition!

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Break out those ereaders!

The Year is Now is available as an ebook!

I know I mentioned it several weeks ago, but that was when I was using a tablet (during The Without a Computer Times). Those were such bitless times indeed ;). My announcement didn’t come with any glittertastic graphics. This post is here to remedy that!

You can download The Year is Now from these retailers:
Amazon – Kindle
Barnes & Noble – NOOK
Lulu
iBookstore

Stars or Stripes
I am still working my way through revising it. You have no idea how many names some characters went through before I found the perfect fit! That is a different topic for a future post.