Today’s post is taken from a prompt from the wonderful folks here: The One-Minute Writer. We all love a good conspiracy theory, so here’s the purrfect one!
“You are the president of your local Conspiracy Theorist group. Unfortunately with the internet and all, most of your regular conspiracies have been debunked. You need something new, something that the group can really get behind. Create a new conspiracy theory.”
There is something out there. I know it. The sheepish minions of conformity are always after people like me. They can’t wrap their minds around the fact that there is more than meets the eye, and it may not always be a crappiota latte or a pair of fuzzy moon boots in 60 degree weather.
I’m getting sidetracked. I need to think of something for our next meeting. The Concave of Concerned Catizens is counting on me. That last debunk was a slap in the face. The sheepish minions of conformity won’t stop until the world is made of lemmings!
We are not alone. They are out there, and they are among us. I will not succumb to society’s stubborn refusal to look beyond science. Okay. I can do this. Let me just put on my traditional foil cat ears.
There we go. It was never secret lizard people! I should have realized that. That myth was invented by the government to throw intellectuals like me off guard! Not lizard people. It has to be some sort of mammal—no, a humanoid! How else can they pose as warm blooded humans?
It’s the Martians! Why is Mars suddenly popular? Why are we crazy about sending people to Mars now? It’s a trick. It’s an ugly trick. They want us to go there. I don’t know why, but The Concave of Concerned Catizens will find out! They conceal themselves from NASA’s spying robots.
They’ve altered the DNA on a select few super Martians who are walking around among us. Oh my, God. I should have known all along! The Martains are posing as restaurateurs! What better way to spy on us than to listen in on our lunch conversations! The next Concave of Concerned Catizens meeting will be held at McBurgerz Place! As we munch on our delicious burgers and fries, we’ll be watching. We’ll be the masters because we are on to them!
*We will also be voting on the font for our book; it’s a collection of our sightings and theories. I’m all for Comic Sans.
